Whether it’s spanking, smut talk, chains or whips, we all like to experiment and turn our sexual relationships into something even more enjoyable. Sex is the most intimate of acts between two (or more) people and one’s sexuality should be a seamless extension of your deeper friendship. On top of that, the contrast between who we are in our everyday lives and who we become in the bedroom can be quite arousing.
Every person on the planet has a set of things in his or her mind that for whatever reason gets him or her going. Be it hair, feet, bondage, clowns, clothes or the lack thereof, it doesn’t matter. We should be free to express with our partner(s) what turns us on and to experiment with it in a safe and comfortable environment.
If your partner suggests something that you aren’t really comfortable with, let him or her know. Next, try suggesting some of your own — and if none match, just go at it like banshees and see what happens. You’d be surprised by what you will do and even more so by what you’ll enjoy in the heat of the moment. Make sure you are not afraid to say no but remember that yes can open up a “hole” new world of pleasure.
On the topic of sexuality, we see the word paraphilia come up time and time again. It is defined as a sexual attraction to anything out of the normal realm of accepted fantasies. We all enjoy a little bit of freak in our lives, something deliciously unexpected to get the blood pumping before anything is even insinuated. Coupled with the attraction of taking control, having someone do to you what they wish can be quite the experience. But here comes the sticky part of the equation for most BDSM-friendly couples. The intent of what we desire has to be pure and innocent, no matter what the desire is. The ability to trust someone so much as to hand over your bodily autonomy should be flattering to the one in control and the one who is controlling must hold respect for that submissiveness as well as for the person they are dominating, so as to not push too far.
This brings us to the need for a safe word, something to say if one person begins to take the session a little too far. I would advise using an inherently peculiar word like “abo,” “mustard” or the blunt “Stop, you animal!” Because these words are only used when something goes too far (which is bound to happen), the safe word should instill a little bit of humour into the situation. Read more.
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